Thursday, February 6, 2014

Keely's Pantoum

None of My Friends Are Ones I Can Reminisce With

Here was a beginning, our beginning.
A beginning of promise, which ended.
An ending of hatred; and here we are.
The beginning was so misleading.

The beginning of promise, which ended,
was one of the saving factors for me.
The beginning was so misleading.
There was no warning.

One of the saving factors for me
was your admittance of my existence.
There was no warning
of your eventual betrayal.

Of your admittance of my existence,
here was a beginning. Our beginning.
Of your eventual betrayal,
an ending of hatred. And here we are.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

An emotionally raw poem with a fantastic ending. I really like your title too, partly for its ambiguity. I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "saving factors" but on the whole I loved your poem.

Marina Endicott said...

Keely, I've gone in and edited the lines as sentences, taking off the capitals at the beginning of the line unless they are also the beginning of a sentence. This is a quiet, introspective, demanding poem, and feels oddly private—as if the poet can (or could once) only reminisce or confide in this one other, who admitted her existence. It also feels ambiguous, and not entirely comfortable. Both those are good things in a poem! The build through the poem to "There was no warning of your eventual betrayal" is measured, almost a drum beat.
I like the final sentence very much: "And here we are." Very good way to end this poem.