Jess's Glosa

The self-same moment I could pray;

And from my neck so free

The Albatross fell off, and sank

Like lead into the sea.

                        “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner”, Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The grey foaming waves

make for miles of distraction,

a boundless rocking in anguish.

How do you find stillness

in a place always moving?

There is little time for peace

when so much needs to be done,

and I am driven to desperation

by the motion that does not cease

to find the one moment I can seize

The self-same moment I could pray;

I wanted to be lifted

to be told it wasn’t mine to carry,

not my burden alone.

I wanted help and found

freedom in the asking,

in admitting I couldn’t stop the sea.

I gave up trying to hold back the waves,

trying to repair the pain I had caused

and admitted to what I could not be

as I turned to look above me

And from my neck so free

After scraping at the weight

I carried for my crime

I surrendered to its presence

and found it gone.

I don’t deserve this grace,

for what I’ve done

I should still be suffering

still tossed in confined space

locked in my prison’s embrace, but

The Albatross fell off, and sank

Its weight remained

though not around me,

lost into the rocking waves.

I thought I’d find stillness

but it’s not there,

not on top of a moving platform.

Every motion is a reminder

the deaths I caused, at least

my albatross kept me warm

now it’s gone from my storm

Like lead into the sea.