Stop before you dare
look hurt that I accept
you're acting like you care.
Lured me with a stare
that rendered me inept,
and stopped it on a dare.
Bared your all to share
like dreams already slept,
while acting like you care.
Impossible to scare
you never even wept,
and stop before you dare.
Took all I that could spare
and most of what I kept.
Still acting like you care?
You had me in your snare,
(until out of it I crept).
So stop before you dare
start acting like you care.
1 comment:
I like how the second line in the first stanza or quatrain carries through to the 3rd line. And the message that the first line gives, like it is a dare, and of course, most people will carry on, because of the dare. But I wonder about the look hurt, is that the author who will look hurt? or it could be both the reader as well to look hurt, like they care to continue, that they have been hurt to stop and really think about their next action. Or like they will have to care about the poem they are about to read. Wow only on the first section. Okay carrying on.
Bared your all to share reminds me of what we are doing within in class with the openness and sharing, then waiting for feedback. Maybe the feedback is part of that dare? Again, almost like we really care about the persons poetry/writing? or we doing this for credits? It again could be for both reader and writer in this sense, if this makes sense.
After reading this I am like whose Elvis? As in Presley?
All in all it is great poem, the way you used dare and changed the sentences reminds me of the glossa(?) is that the proper poem where we used the word at the end, but in a new sentence? Okay I will be quiet now, I wanted to post, because yeah, I finally got a chance to be in this blog.
Great job Andrew, your poetry for me is out of this world in a good way.
Louise.
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